blogs/tcs

"How can faith make your marriage last?"

By Rabbi Danny Burkeman-Newsday February 14, 2016

At the very beginning of our Torah, when we are introduced to Adam and Eve as partners, or possibly as a married couple, we gain two important insights that can be helpful as a foundation for marriage today. The first is the recognition that human beings are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27). This foundational belief is important in all of our relationships, but it is especially significant in marriage. When things get tough or when there is tension, it is important to remember that our partner is created in God's image and possesses the Divine spark within them. Seeing our partner in this way should inform how we speak to, treat, and love one another.

The second insight comes as God searches for the right partner for Adam. The Hebrew in Genesis 2:20, “ezer kenegdo”, possesses a dual meaning; Eve is to be both a help-mate and also one who is against or in opposition. This reminds us that successful marriages are built around helping one another, but this is not done by always agreeing; often this is done by bringing a different, or even opposing, perspective. What is important is that it comes from a place of love and of wanting to help your partner.

Judaism emphasizes the importance of relationships as a way of bringing God into this world. As the great Jewish theologian Martin Buber wrote: “When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.” It is this simultaneously human and divine connection that helps a marriage, or any relationship, strengthen and endure.